


caught in distant memories

by zeiitnot



Category: The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Speculative, tagged as a precaution, very subtle implied noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-02-01 02:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21342376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeiitnot/pseuds/zeiitnot
Summary: A character study of urVa the Archer as he reflects on his long life, his part in events that led to the split of the urSkeks, and the part he will play in the future of Thra.
Relationships: implied skekMal/urVa, skekMal & urVa (Dark Crystal)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22





	caught in distant memories

Pebbles rolled under urVa’s feet as he climbed a path over the mountains under the light of Thra's three moons. The Archer has walked for many trine over the course of his life, as much a wayfaring soul as his brother urRu who took his name from such wandering. Long has urVa set himself apart from the other urRu, though they beg him stay whenever he visits; deep in his heart, he could never shake the feeling that he would not be welcome among their numbers, if they knew the truth as he did.

urVa held within him a secret so painful that he could never sing with the other Mystics in the valley. 

It was why he’d left in the first place and why, even now, he refused to go back for more than short visits. He could never call the valley home. There was nowhere in all of Thra that urVa could call home. The mountains, the forests, the rivers and deserts, anywhere that was part of Thra would never be home to urVa - or to any of the Mystics, for that matter. 

As the Archer reached the summit of the mountain, where the Sanctuary Tree’s great blossoming branches stretched out to the stars above, urVa thought back on his life on Thra.

A life which had started in despair and chaos.

He closed his eyes as he sat beneath the raised roots of the tree, and he could see the beginning in his long-memoried mind - the Crystal of Truth surrounded by mirrors and glass, to enhance its powers. A circle of beings wait around it, glowing gold and called ‘divine’ by those who ought to know better. The suns of Thra slowly inch to their second Great Conjunction, the time when the urSkeks would finally be able to go home.

Or so they had thought and planned, so carefully. They’d made the calculations, studied the stars, gone over detail after detail with each other, with Mother Aughra. Everything had been considered. They’d worked out all possibilities and outcomes, anything that could possibly affect their plan - 

\- save for the **one** thing that had doomed them all.

None of them had ever known that one of their own would go out to the ends of Thra to sing the most melancholic of songs. They had never heard the desolate chords and refrains of a burning, desperate ** _need_ ** to be home, an agony-filled wish for their kind to hear his pleas and let him return. His voice had only been heard by one being - the gelfling singer who Raunip had brought to the ceremony, who’d sworn with his whole being to never sing again after hearing the urSkek’s song.

Much as urVa had vowed that he would never sing again, for it was _ his _ song that had led the urSkeks to this split life upon Thra as urRu and Skeksis. His selfish, desperate nostalgia had blackened his heart in the most crucial moment and, in a fit of heart-wrenching _ anguish, _MalVa had cursed himself and his brethren forever with his bitter words.

> _“Is there no place in the realms of the Crystal where a single being will show me compassion?” _ _MalVa exclaimed as his heart plunged into black._ _His golden eyes burned with tears of grief and anger, spurred on by Raunip’s taunts and the echoes of the song Gyr had brought back to him. _
> 
> _ Around him, the other urSkeks felt the crack of power as MalVa curled his arms around himself, attempting to ward off the desolation he felt as he cried out. _ “ _ Is there truly no love for me in all creation?!” _

The words echoed in urVa’s memory as he opened his eyes again with a sigh. Head lifted so that his gaze could fall upon the stars, he knew now that he would never see home again. The others may yet see their world once more, but not him, not the one who had ruined their chance once before. He’d seen it for himself - not in the stars, nor in the sand paintings of his brothers. 

He’d seen it in the vision that had burned into his mind the first time he’d touched skekMal since their division. 

The urRu had run from the castle upon their rebirth after the split of one into two, for the Skeksis were violent, filled with a maelstrom of rage and hate that the gentle, peaceful urRu could not comprehend in their first moments of life. Two urRu were already dead, killed along with their Skeksis counterparts in the first horrific moments of life. While the urRu escaped into the wilderness of Thra, the Skeksis remained at the castle, where they would slowly take over the world in the trine to come.

Even in those chaotic first days, urSu had led the remaining urRa, earning his title as the Master by taking care of them, guiding their way to the valley that would be their refuge from the Skeksis. He gave them each their own titles as they revealed their skills. They made their home far removed from the rest of Thra, where they could learn and grow, becoming the wise Mystics over time. urVa became the Archer the moment he mastered the bow, his aim true, and graceful in his art. He studied, practiced, and urSu had praised him for his skill with the bow and the martial arts they developed and learned from the rare visitor to their valley.

But urSu wished for him to stay within the valley, something that urVa could never do, always feeling distant from the others. When urGoh left to become the Wanderer, urVa had gone with him, journeying over Thra as his companion and friend. The two of them were close, sharing their wanderlust and the awe of the world. urGoh’s only sadness in their explorations was that urVa would never sing with him under the stars when they stopped for the night.

> _ “I have never heard you sing,” urGoh commented slowly, thoughtfully. _
> 
> _ “I have never felt it _ ** _right_ ** _ to sing,” urVa replied calmly as he drew his knife along his newly craft bow, carefully carving swirled designs that echoed the spirals in his skin. “Mine is a voice that Thra needs not hear join its song.” _
> 
> _ His companion laughed. “We do not get to decide when our part of the song is finished,” he advised, his words a gentle adagio in the night air. He took a slow drag from his pipe, holding a moment before blowing the smoke through his nostrils. “Nor do we decide when our part begins.” _

Wise words, urVa thought, from an urRu who did not, as far as he knew, remember that it had been MalVa’s song that had caused so much dissonance in Thra’s own symphony. Whether his brother knew of his world-shattering melody now or not, urVa couldn’t guess, for the two of them had parted not long after that conversation, so many trine ago.

Their parting had led them to such different places, such different fates; urGoh had left for the Crystal Desert, where urVa had chosen to explore the Endless Forest. Had he known that the forest had already been claimed as the Hunter’s territory, perhaps he’d have never gone there in the first place - for the urRu had long ago made it a rule amongst themselves to avoid the Skeksis. For their part, the Skeksis mostly left the urRu alone, out of a collective sense of self-preservation.

Except, it seemed, in the Hunter’s case. 

urVa hadn’t known that day, when he’d entered the Endless Forest, that it would be the first he encountered the Hunter. He’d only gone to drink from the river after a long day’s journey, hands cupped together to bring fresh water to his lips. His mind had not been on his surroundings, as the forest had seemed peaceful and quiet. He had not expected the attack.

He could not remember now, if he’d just not _ heard _ the Skeksis leap out of the trees or if he’d only thought it another creature coming to the river to drink. He remembered the force with which he’d been thrown into the shore, the pain of hitting the ground and its rocks. There had been fear, surprise, bewilderment. He could see in his mind’s eye the skull mask the Hunter wore, even in those early days, already collecting trophies from his kills. 

urVa remembered strong arms holding him down and cruel teeth biting viciously into his exposed neck.

He recalled the howl of pain that echoed his own cry and the way the Skeksis had torn away from him, clutching his own throat with a clawed hand. The shock and _ hatred _ in the Hunter’s eyes in that moment could have burned a hole through urVa, as intense as they’d been. Both of them had realized, then, who the other was and what it meant. It’d made the urRu incredibly sad and the Skeksis downright _ infuriated _. 

For skekMal’s prey would escape him for the first time in all his trine of hunting. 

The Hunter could not harm the Archer without harming himself, a fact that enraged him. It hadn’t stopped him for long, though, for he’d lunged at him again. urVa had been ready that time, all four arms reaching and clasping their hands together - four urRu hands meeting four Skeksis hands.

And unleashing a vision upon both of them that would haunt urVa for trine to come. 

> _ A young gelfling leapt towards the broken Crystal. In his hand, a shard that, once placed, brought the full, blinding light of the Crystal of Truth to life. The light engulfed the Skeksis in the chamber, cornered and corralled by their urRu counterparts. Only a handful of each remained and, when the light dimmed, only a handful of urSkeks were revealed - less than half of the number that had been sent to Thra in the first place. _
> 
> _ Neither urVa nor skekMal had been among the handful and MalVa was not among the urSkeks who proceeded to journey through the light to return to their long-missed home. _

The vision faded, the two split beings parted, and urVa’s heart broke with the realization that he would never be whole, would never see the home he’d longed for and could not find on Thra. Horrified tears had sprung into his eyes and a gasp had escaped him upon that sorrowful revelation.

skekMal had ** _laughed_ ** _ . _

urVa could hear that laughter echoing from the past, cruel and triumphant at the same time. It still made his heart ache, that his counterpart _ reveled _in the knowledge that they would never unite and become one. 

He envied his dear friend urGoh, whom he’d learned had not only met his own Skeksis counterpart, but had found unity with skekGra. The Conqueror turned Heretic longed to be whole as much as urGoh did, from what urVa heard through the whispers of the world and the low tune of Thra itself. 

And if the sweet andante of Thra’s song was to be believed, urGoh had found more than simple unity with skekGra. 

> _ “Is there truly no love for me in all creation?!” _

MalVa’s anguished words echoed in urVa’s mind once more and it _ hurt _, recalling such desperation. 

There was certainly no love between him and skekMal. No, the Hunter had no capacity for such an emotion, consumed as he was by his obsession with trophies and death. urVa’s counterpart was every bit his opposite, and there would be no mastering the darkness that skekMal represented; not while skekMal mercilessly chased his prey, delighted in blood, and basked in the thrill of seeing the light of life fade from the eyes of his latest kill.

A shudder wracked urVa’s body at the thought of his counterpart. He knew, all too well, that skekMal would gleefully watch the light in his eyes sputter and dim as he drained the life out of the Archer, if it would not mean his own death as well. While he could not _ kill _ urVa, skekMal was more than capable of hurting him, in spite of the bond between them that cast the same injuries onto the Hunter’s own body.

skekMal enjoyed their encounters far more than urVa did, taking pleasure in causing their synchronized pain as his claws tore into urVa’s body. He’d marked his urRu counterpart as his favorite prey, tracking him down every once in a while, just to remind him of what they would never be - united and whole. He would laugh and taunt his other half, weaponizing the vision they’d shared, as he chased urVa through trees, along the rivers, wherever the two would roam. 

And Thra help him, when the Hunter caught up with his favorite prey - he was so much worse in his victories against his light half than he ever was with prey he could actually kill. Other prey, he eventually tired of and granted the mercy of death. He never got bored of urVa.

> _ skekMal’s cruel claws grasped a fistful of urVa’s hair, tugging hard and forcing the urRu’s head up. “Look at me, Archer,” he commanded with a growling laugh in his voice. “Look _ ** _closely_**_. You see it in me, don’t you? The _ ** _hatred_ ** _ we had for this world and the weak creatures that call it home.” _
> 
> _ urVa wasn’t sure how his Skeksis counterpart could speak, for the pain that coursed through them both after the Hunter’s latest conquest over him. Blood, dripping down from a cut above his brow, clouded urVa’s vision and he could barely see skekMal at all. “Which creature is truly the weakest?” he dared to ask. “The creature who calls a world home or the one for whom no home calls?” _
> 
> _ A snarl sounded above him, followed by a string of hissing growls that formed the anger skekMal could not voice with words. The Hunter ground down upon his counterpart, pinning him further into the rocks below their bodies. “You recall, Archer, it was _ ** _our _ ** _ call that lost us our world.” _

As if urVa could ever forget that mournful melody, the call home that had become their dirge when their lives were destroyed. It was a small victory to him that his soul-bound Skeksis half hated that song as much as he did. The Hunter did not sing, nor did he even care for music at all. In the far reaches of his memories, urVa thought it was perhaps a shame the two of them found such hatred in something their whole self had once poured so much heart into - MalVa had, once upon a time ago, had a wonderful voice.

But the thought would always be swept away by the sorrow that overcame urVa, remembering that it was his fault the urRu and Skeksis remained on Thra. MalVa’s voice, as beautiful as it had once been, had been the sour note that had derailed the Song of Thra’s grand symphony.

So many trine had passed since that fateful day and urVa could not, _ would _ not, forgive himself for his weakness. The urSkeks had been sent to Thra to master the darkness within them, learn to conform to the orderly ways of their own world, and while the others had done so well, learned so much, MalVa’s inability to let go of his despair had cost them everything and rent the lot of them asunder. Guilt wracked urVa to this day, staining his heart black still.

He supposed that was why he called Aughra to him now. Time was running short - another Great Conjunction was drawing upon Thra. It would be several trine yet before the three suns aligned in the sky above the world, but urVa knew that it would take several trine to repair the damage done so long ago. It was his last chance for redemption. If he could make things right, perhaps it would finally give him the peace of mind that would allow him to forgive himself.

Well over nine hundred trine was a long time to hold a grudge against one’s self. Atonement wasn’t an easy achievement, but perhaps the problem had always been the inability to let go, just as MalVa hadn’t been able to all those trine ago. There was a process to it, like the weavework that urUtt did upon his loom - a slow process that took time, patience, and real _ work _ to complete; like urUtt’s weaving, it was the small details that would have to be figured out and pieced together to make the bigger picture that, ultimately, would show urVa’s true fate, if he made peace with himself or not.

Perhaps, in his journey to finally forgive himself, he should return to the valley after his long self-exile, tell his brethren the truth at long last and let them pass their judgment on him, as well. Let them know which of their brothers had cursed them to their fate here on Thra, so that they may choose whether he was worthy of forgiveness in the first place.

urVa gave a soft, hollow laugh as he leaned against the Sanctuary Tree’s thick roots. He knew, as much as the next of his kin, that urSu would forgive him - the Master had always been the most forgiving. Had urSu not begged him to stay, touched his hand to urVa’s and told him the valley would always welcome him home? Always the wisest of them, urVa wondered if urSu had already known the true reason why he was leaving back then and already forgiven him. 

> _ “You depart upon a journey of such sorrow, urVa,” the Master told him. There was a softness in his eyes, as though he’d seen something in his meditations of the Archer’s fate. urSu had always been protective of the other urRu, worrying over them, and fretting whenever any of them left the valley. “To wander without knowing what it is you seek and what you leave behind is to be aimless and lost.” _
> 
> _ “Is this what you told urGoh?” urVa questioned, wondering if the Wanderer had gotten the same speech from the Master. _
> 
> _ “urGoh’s wanderlust has always been with a purpose - to seek peace with himself.” urSu leaned on his walking stick, held in three hands, and reached to touch urVa’s hand. “I fear your journey is less about finding peace and more about fleeing a misunderstanding.” _
> 
> _ A sigh escaped the Archer and, after a moment, he let his hand shift to take urSu’s in his. “I leave tonight, with urGoh. The valley can offer me nothing.” _
> 
> _ “The valley offers you home and hearth,” urSu promised. “You are always welcome back, should your journey lead you here once more.” _

Thinking back, urVa had seen the sadness in urSu’s eyes when he’d told him he was leaving - wistful and heartbroken, as if urSu had known that his old friend would not be returning. And, truly, urVa had not set foot in the valley since he’d left with urGoh, although he’d occasionally run into other urRu who ventured out for one reason or another. urSu never left the valley if his presence wasn’t crucial, however, and so it had been a long time since the two had seen each other.

There was much that urVa would say to urSu now if he ever got the chance to see the Master again. 

An apology would only be the start of it all.

Maybe he would see urSu smile again, and embrace the Master as the long-lost brother he was. Perhaps, he would get to sit with the Herbalist, as urNol cut his medicinal herbs and created salves. A meal prepared by urAmaj would be so much more nourishing and delicious than any urVa had made for himself in several trine, for he’d never had the Cook’s talent for taste. urSol would undoubtedly lead the urRu in a celebratory song, commemorating the Archer’s return. 

The thought brought a smile to urVa’s lips. Oh, how wonderful it would be to face his kin and be accepted, dark secrets and all. He could almost feel the warmth of the other urRu around him, could hear urSol’s song in his mind - a tune full of joy and love that would bring tears to all who heard it.

urVa leaned back against the Sanctuary Tree’s root and lifted his head to the stars as he closed his eyes, imagining that song -

\- and let his long-unused singing voice soar upwards, echoing the song in his head. The notes were soft and unsure at first, urVa’s voice nearly a thousand trine out of practice, but it adjusted, warming up as the song began to flow and form. His voice echoed in the night, mingling with the leaves above that danced with the gentle wind. It was the exact opposite of MalVa’s fateful melody that rang out now, one of hope and home.

> _ skekMal's claws dug into the soft flesh of urVa's throat as he renewed the marks he always left on his counterpart, every time they met. The game of cat and mouse between the two of them always left urVa with new scars, but nothing skekMal could ever carve into his body compared to the scars on the Archer’s heart and soul. The division of their former self had left its mark on urVa long before skekMal had ever caught him. _
> 
> _ And the only thing that soothed the pain of _ ** _that_ ** _ wound was physical closeness. _
> 
> _ urVa _ ** _hated_ ** _ it, but these run-ins with his Skeksis half were the only times where he felt as close to _ ** _whole_ ** _ as he could when they were still split in two. If the vision they’d seen was truly a glimpse of their future, wherein they would never merge, then this was the closest urVa would get to the unity that he craved. _
> 
> _ “Why would you ever _ ** _want _ ** _ to be whole?” skekMal demanded as he ran his jaw along the underside of urVa’s neck, marking his scent upon the urRu. No other being would dare harm the urRu with the Hunter’s scent on him. “You _ ** _know_ ** _ the monster I am. To be whole is taking that monstrosity for yourself and you Mystics haven’t got the _ ** _heart_ ** _ for it.” _
> 
> _ “Perhaps not,” urVa conceded. He brought his tail up to whap at skekMal when the Hunter’s claws dug too deep. “Or perhaps it is the Skeksis who haven’t got the heart to embrace unity, lack the capacity for love.” _
> 
> _ skekMal snarled. “_ ** _Love_ ** _. You’re as pathetic as the rest of the Mystics, Archer. Only the weakest creatures put their faith in something so meaningless.” _

urVa’s voice grew stronger as the memory played in his mind, in defiance against his darker half’s words and actions, the marks that the Archer still bore from their last encounter. He knew the Hunter was wrong, that there _ was _ meaning to love - be it the love of friends, the love of kin, or the deep love that kindled between two or more beings, there was a strength in love, more powerful than anything the cruel Skeksis could ever imagine.

And maybe it was love that would truly be his salvation. Not just the love of his friends, his brothers, but the love of _ himself _, in spite of his mistakes and crimes. The love that forgiveness may yet bring him.

Spurred on by these thoughts, urVa lifted his voice high to the mountain air, calling out to the stars, and finally letting the song of Thra embrace him after nearly a thousand trine of resistance.

For the first time since his chaotic birth after the urSkeks’ division, urVa felt a moment of _ peace _.

“I still have my fears and doubts,” urVa told the Sanctuary Tree when he’d finished his song. “But I know now what it is I must do to help Aughra regain her connection to Thra. May she find the same peace I have this night.”

urVa sighed slowly. He leaned back against the roots and closed his eyes. Aughra would arrive in the morning. When she did, his first steps towards his long-awaited redemption would follow.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally started writing this as a warm-up to get a feel for urVa's character for an RP blog, but it quickly took over and turned itself into a longer exploration of the idea of MalVa being the urSkek whose darkness doomed them all. Credit where credit is due, the initial idea came from [this video](https://youtu.be/ANsnYlERUUE) by The Fangirl, I just let it roll where it wanted as I wrote.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this! Leave a comment and let me know what I might improve on!


End file.
